✨Love Bombing

You might’ve heard the term “love bombing” tossed around—it’s become a bit of a buzzword. But what does it really mean?

At its core, love bombing is a subtle form of emotional abuse. It’s hard to spot, especially in the beginning, and it often paves the way for more damaging behavior—like financial manipulation. The worst part? By the time you realize what’s happening, it’s often too late.

Picture this: You meet someone new. There's instant chemistry. You share laughs, interests, deep conversations—the connection feels effortless. You find yourself thinking, “Wow, this is different.”

Soon, the gestures start. Flowers. Your favorite snacks. Surprise lunches at work. They go out of their way for you—filling your gas tank, fixing your flat tire, showing up with little gifts every time you meet.

Before long, you’re officially dating. They shower you with compliments: how beautiful you are, how happy you make them, how they’ve never felt this way before. It’s intoxicating. Friends and family gush, “They seem amazing!”

Weeks in, maybe months, you’re in love. You’re thinking, “I hit the jackpot.” And when they look at you, it feels like they think the same.

Is everything really as perfect as it seemed?

At this point, you’ve become the mouse in the trap.

But wait—before you lose hope in love or assume I have, let me be clear:

Yes, real love exists.
Yes, there are people out there who express affection freely, generously, and sincerely—with no strings attached.
Many people are waiting to meet the right person to love deeply, spoil a little, and build something meaningful with.

But here’s why love bombing is so dangerous: it mimics real love, and that’s what makes it so hard to detect.

It is possible to fall in love, to match energies, to share interests and shower each other with affection. And you deserve that kind of connection. But true love takes time. It grows through shared experiences, not overnight promises or instant obsession.

You’ve heard the saying, “If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.”
Now add this to your list:
“If it seems too soon to be true, it’s probably creepy.”

Because let’s be honest—it’s unnatural for someone to become head-over-heels devoted to you after just a few days or weeks. How can anyone in a healthy emotional state become that attached to a person they barely know?

Sure, people can click. But identical interests? Unmatched energy? Unrealistic devotion? That’s not love. That’s a red flag.

Love bombing is often masked as effort—lavish attention, expensive gifts, endless praise. You start to question yourself:
“Am I being ungrateful for not trusting this?”
“Am I overthinking? Paranoid?”

And that’s exactly why love bombing is so hard to recognize.
It messes with your instincts—especially if you’ve experienced both real love and manipulation before. You’ll find yourself wondering:
“Is this genuine… or just a game?”

Even when your gut starts to whisper that something’s wrong, walking away feels impossible. After all, how do you leave someone who insists they love you so much—someone who’s only ever been “generous” and “adoring”?

That’s the trap. And it’s why love bombing is so difficult to detect, resist, or escape.

This behavior is a favorite tactic of narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths—

Stated by licensed therapist Sasha Jackson, LCSW.

“Love bombing is characterized by excessive attention, admiration, and affection with the goal to make the recipient feel dependent and obligated to that person.” 

“And as the recipient, love bombing feels really good because of the boost of dopamine and endorphins you receive. You feel special, needed, loved, valuable, and worthy, which are all the components that contribute to and increase a person’s self-esteem.

Love bombing doesn’t just mess with your emotions—it hijacks your biology.

This tactic works on a chemical level, not just mental or emotional. It bonds you to the abuser through a powerful cocktail of brain chemicals, especially dopamine.

Dopamine is the brain’s “reward chemical.” It’s released during moments of pleasure and excitement, creating feelings of euphoria. It also strengthens memory and motivation—so the more pleasure you associate with a person, the harder it is to let them go.

Think back to how you felt when he surprised you.
Or when he gave you that beautiful (and expensive) necklace.
Or planned an all-expenses-paid getaway.

Your brain remembers those highs. And each time you recall them, dopamine floods your system again. It feels good—addictively good. So good, in fact, that you begin to crave it. Crave him.

This is why people in love —or in a trauma bond—often feel euphoric, obsessive, and even withdrawals when that person it away.

But dopamine isn’t the only player.

Enter serotonin—your “happy juice.”
Serotonin boosts mood, helps regulate appetite, and works hand-in-hand with melatonin, your “sleepy juice,” to balance your sleep cycle.

When serotonin and melatonin are out of balance, everything goes haywire:
You’re up all night, exhausted all day.
You’re anxious, foggy, moody.
You might even suffer from insomnia.

So before you even realize it, your brain’s pleasure, happiness, appetite, and sleep are all biologically hooked on them.

They don’t just hold your heart—they control your body.

Sound extreme?
That’s because it is.
And narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths are willing to go to extremes to get what they want.

So how does a narcissist use love bombing to gain control?

They flood you with joy, attention, and surprises to trigger dopamine:
Gifts. Dates. Trips. Sweet words. Constant communication. Intensity 24/7.

Then, just as quickly, they pull away.

The texts stop.
The affection dries up.
You’re suddenly getting the silent treatment—ignored for hours or even days over something minor.

Your body goes into panic mode, craving the dopamine rush of their attention.
Then, just as suddenly, they’re back—apologizing, showering you with affection, swearing they can’t live without you.

And the cycle begins again.

Each time it repeats, the highs get higher, the crashes get worse, and your dependence on them grows deeper. They become your drug—and you, their addicted supply.

Eventually, they get bored.
They discard you.
And you’re left broken, wondering what just happened—and why you keep wanting to go back to them.

“Love bombing is the gateway drug to love addiction.”
— Kim Saeed

This is why so many people return to their abusive exes again and again before they can finally break free. Not because they’re weak—but because their brain has been rewired to need them.

And that’s exactly what the abuser wanted.