✨ Healing thru the waves of Shame

"What are you feeling?"

With no other choice, I found myself forced to sit and ask, “What are you feeling?” For so long, I’d been running from my emotions, the pain, guilt, shame, and the weight of it all made me crave an escape, a desperate escape, to just run, run away, or straight into the road—literally. And sadly, I did, many times I found myself manically and hysterically running, unaware of the dangers I would by and almost begging cars to just hit me. My escape from the pain led me to desperately seek the train tracks or the lake, anywhere that could end the suffering, anything to avoid sitting with it, with feeling it;

Embarrassed, ashamed, humiliated, and betrayed by myself.

Your Feelings Are Valid — And So Is Your Healing

I used to tell myself, “Your feelings are valid.”
It was a mantra I clung to—a small act of self-compassion in a world that constantly made me question myself.

But then, I’d follow it up with something just as important:
“Your reactions to your feelings are your responsibility.”

Not to shame myself.
Not to silence the pain.
But to remind myself that I still had power. That even if I was falling apart, I still had the ability to rebuild. That hope could live alongside heartbreak.

Because the truth is: I was often teetering on the edge—between failure and desperation, between giving up and giving myself another chance.

Shame Is Heavy—And It’s Real

Google defines shame as “a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.”
And let me tell you: it is exactly that.
Painful. Suffocating. Debilitating.

Shame doesn’t just live in your head.
It shows up in your chest, your stomach, your throat.
For me, it was all of those things at once. Some days, I didn’t want to show my face. Other days, I wanted to disappear completely.
The weight of it was unbearable.

And often, that weight wasn’t even mine to carry.

🎞 A Scene from Pixar’s Soul That Said Everything I Couldn't

There’s a scene toward the end of Pixar’s Soul that stuck with me like glue.

The character 22 becomes what the movie calls a “lost soul”—a dark, drifting figure consumed by fear, shame, and hopelessness.
Joe Gardner, realizing he’s contributed to her emotional spiral, chases after her, trying to help her find her spark again.

But 22 lashes out. She’s drowning in a dark world of self-doubt.
And in that shadowy world she’s trapped in, Joe hears her internal monologue:

“I’m not good enough.”
“I always make bad decisions.”
“No one wants to be around me.”

One by one, the shadows of people who had hurt 22 appear—and then, the worst one of all: Joe’s own shadow.

That moment crushed me.

Because I’ve been there.
I’ve heard those voices and been haunted by the shadows of my past.

I’ve believed them all.

People told me I’d never be anything. That I’d never make it.
That I was a failure. A burden. A mistake. A soon to be "deadbeat".
That I’d end up dead or under a bridge.

I tried my best not to believe them and prove them wrong, but in living so hard to prove them wrong, I didn't realize I had subconsciously accepted their words. I believed them.

Every Choice I Made Was to Survive

I’ve made decisions I’m not proud of.
But every single one was made in survival mode.

Trying to escape.
Trying to live.
Trying to find my way through the noise of other people’s expectations, projections, and judgments.

And it cost me—emotionally, mentally, spiritually.
I carried shame that was never mine to begin with.

Until I finally realized:
I was doing the best I could with what I had.
And that’s more than enough.

If You’re There Too, Please Know This:

Your feelings are valid.
Shame is a liar.
You are not what others have done to you.
You are not the mistakes you made to survive.

You are worthy of healing. Of peace. Of love.
And of a life where you can finally breathe again.

4 Powerful Ways to Release Shame

Shame is a heavy burden—one that isolates, silences, and suffocates. But the beautiful truth is this: you don’t have to carry it forever. There are gentle, intentional ways to start letting go of shame and reclaim your self-worth.

Here are 4 powerful practices that helped me—and might help you, too.

1. 🧘 Mindfulness & Reflection

Shame often hides beneath the surface, influencing our thoughts and actions without us even realizing it.

Take time to slow down. Sit with your emotions.
Ask yourself:

Where is this feeling coming from?
Whose voice is this really?
What triggered this response in me?

By staying present and curious, rather than reactive or avoidant, you begin to face shame instead of letting it control you. Awareness is the first step to freedom.

2. 🗣 Talk About It

Shame thrives in silence. It wants you to stay quiet. It wants you to believe that you’re alone, that no one else could possibly understand.

But here’s the truth: you are not alone—and shame loses its grip the moment you speak your truth.

Whether it's with a trusted friend, a therapist, a support group, or even through writing, sharing your experience is a radical act of self-liberation. The very thing shame tells you to hide may be what connects you most deeply to others.

3. 💛 Practice Self-Compassion

The antidote to shame is kindness.
Not from others—though that helps—but from yourself.

Talk to yourself the way you would talk to someone you love who's hurting.

Replace harsh self-talk with words like:

“You were doing your best.”
“It’s okay to have made mistakes while trying to survive.”
“You’re still worthy of love and healing.”

It’s not always easy, but self-compassion is a muscle—one that gets stronger with practice.

4. 🌿 Move Your Body – Yoga & Embodiment

Shame doesn't just live in the mind—it nests itself in the body.

Gentle movement like yoga, stretching, dance, or walking can help release emotional tension and reconnect you with yourself in a safe, grounded way.

This is not about fitness or performance—this is about feeling. Reclaiming your space. Reminding your body it's no longer under attack. That you are safe now.

Final Thought

Shame wants you small, silent, and stuck. But you are capable of so much more.

Start with one of these practices. Just one.
Then build from there.
Let healing be messy, gentle, and honest.

You don’t have to rush it.
You just have to believe that letting go is possible.

You are not your shame.
You are your healing.

For me, self-compassion is the most important. I realized I had absorbed hurtful words from others—family, exes, bullies—and started to internalize them. Like Soul 22 in the Pixar movie Soul, I became a "lost soul," trapped in the pain others had inflicted. Their words became my inner voice.

I had to face how cruel I had been to myself. I repeated the same hurtful phrases in my head that others had said to me. The worst part was that when people tried to show me kindness, I couldn’t accept it because I didn’t think I deserved it.

The second crucial lesson for me is self-awareness. I was hyper-aware of my flaws, but I never noticed how I was treating myself. I became so focused on what I had done wrong that I missed how unkind I was to myself. Practicing awareness of my inner dialogue and showing compassion for myself has become a key part of my healing.

Lastly, self-care is essential. But it's not just about bubble baths and candles—it’s deeper than that. Growing up, I didn’t feel like my body was worth taking care of. I didn’t learn to value myself, and I carried that belief into adulthood. Now, I’m learning to re-parent myself, taking time to honor my emotions, set boundaries, and practice self-respect.

My Top 3 Priorities:

Self-Compassion
Self-Awareness
Self-Care & Boundaries

After those, I focus on emotional regulation through practices like EFT and journaling. Blogging also helps me process my thoughts, and I want to share my journey in hopes that it can help someone else. When I was searching for answers, there wasn’t much available about healing mental health. I want to contribute to that conversation.

Remember: You are worthy of every drop of love this world has to offer. Cry when you need to. Sleep when you need to. Laugh when you can. And above all, don’t give up. Even in the darkest moments, remember—this too shall pass.

~✧༺•༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺•༻∞✧~

✨𝒮𝓉𝒶𝓎 𝒮𝓉𝓇𝑜𝓃𝑔 ✨𝒦𝑒𝑒𝓅 𝐹𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔✨

~✧༺•༻∞✧༺✧༻∞✧༺•༻∞✧~